It’s interesting when worlds collide. Finding a way to combine two things that are both important to me, but more than that - actually FUN - is a treat. So when I had the opportunity to partner up with some friends and create The Spark Run, I was all in. Running? Check. Music? Check. No…
I really hate this side of my personality. I always know when an episode is beginning because I start to make bad decisions without thinking of consequences. Then guilt, and worthlessness. Followed by extreme depression, and I don’t know why I am so fucking sad. I’m just miserable and for no reason. It’s incredibly hard to describe this to my significant other, he can’t comprehend why I am upset. It’s so hard. It is something I have always tried to fix without medication but as I am getting older I know this isn’t normal. Even though it’s only occasional, it really hinders my well being. I’m just venting.
Made a spontaneous road trip to see loveardnaxela yesterday & drove back up this morning. I had so much fun and can’t wait to hang with her again but I can’t say the same for the city itself. Sometimes when I miss home it doesn’t take long for me to realize that place is toxic for me. It’s either the alcohol or the city but the choices I make are never solid ones. Regrets weigh heavy on my mind this evening.
Every time I feel like giving up at the gym… I just think of wearing those tiny bottoms and walking down the bleachers into the festival & how good my ass will look if I just keep going. It is pretty motivational!