the human element

Our place is beautiful! A 4 story Row house with a two story deck and huge backyard right in a perfect location from everything. The only part is alll those damn stairs hahaha but it makes up for that with my walk in closet! So excited to build a home. I signed up for OneLife so I will be giving another gym a shot ( 3 months to get shredded- TomorrowWorld) All in all everything is going much smoother than I expected. Starting my new job and school soon so enjoying this relaxation thing as much as I can. 

I am getting myself so psyched and there is still 3 months to go! Dreamville is gonna be gnarly, you can bring a shit ton of alcohol which saves me so much cake right there! Looking at camping stuff on Craigslist getting pumped!

So I originally didn’t think I could camp for Tomorrow World but I think I changed my mind and now I need a 5 day Dreamville Pass, They don’t sell them separate but I emailed Paylogic so fingers crossed! I can’t fucking wait for Tomorrow World! Countdown 3 months!! 

Choosing EDCNY over EDC Vegas this year was my biggest disappointment.  Next year I will not make the same mistake. I need those pool parties & buffets in my life! Like… NOW!

I’ve been laying in bed all day with the worst cramps and I had the bright Idea to start a WebMD search on why I get crippling cramps every time. I was also watching ’What to Expect When Expecting’ which is hilarious but I started crying just about every other touching part and when she had a miscarriage I absolutely lost it. Fuck Hormones. My WebMD search lead me to believe there is probably something wrong with my ovaries and will probably will never have kids. Which lead to hysterical crying, so yup that’s been my day. Fuck me, Right?

The past two nights I have had dreams where I can’t tell who I am.

The first one I was with a group of people and I genuinely couldn’t remember what my face looked like and I couldn’t see it clearly in the mirror.

Then last night I had a dream I was being carded and my ID was faded by the sun where you could only make out a few words and the picture was faded beyond recognition. 

I don’t know what the hell is going on. Am I losing myself, or finding a new self? Is this a good thing? Universe what are you telling me?!